Letters Never Sent
by karminai
Summary: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger have been best friends for five years, and they could never be more than friends. Could they? A walk in the snow, a game of Truth or Dare, and many letters that are never sent will make Ron and Hermione realize that being
1. Dreams, Disagreements, and the DA

Ron Weasley glanced around the Gryffindor Common Room for the ninth time that night. For the ninth time, it contained only him and Hermione, and for the ninth time, he found that strange. He had been friends with Hermione Granger, along with his other best friend, Harry Potter, since their first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He wasn't sure when his more-than-friendly feelings for her had developed, but now, in their sixth year, they were most certainly there.

Ron and Hermione had been sitting in silence for at least an hour, working on their homework. Hermione was writing an essay for Potions while Ron was struggling with Transfiguration. ("What led to the discovery of the Contentious Spell, and, in your opinion, was it fairly banned?") Ron cleared his throat and started to ask Hermione if she wanted to take a walk with him.

"Hermione, d…" he began, but quickly lost his nerve. "Er, do you know when Harry will be back from his meeting with Dumbledore?"

Hermione looked puzzled. "No, Ron, I don't know."

"Oh, all right then, I'll best be off to bed." He shut his books and stuffed them into his bag. "G'night, Hermione."

She glanced up at him as he scrambled up the stairs to the boy's dormitories, and then whispered, more to herself than to anyone else, "Sweet dreams, Ron."

Half an hour later, Ron lay in his bed, awake. He looked up when Harry walked into the dormitory, and then sat up to greet his friend. "How was your meeting with Dumbledore?"

Harry's green eyes were alight with excitement. "Brilliant. He wants us to continue with the D.A.! Meetings were the best part of last year, and I really missed seeing everyone this summer… I think we should start off this year with something challenging, like the Nevecte Spell or something, I mean it's only the second week of term, I think we could handle it because we don't have loads of homework yet…"

Ron was only half-listening to his best friend's speech. He was once again thinking about Hermione, thinking about how he could partner with her in D.A. meetings, just like last year. He started to smile, thinking about how much he loved Hermione's wide brown eyes.

Harry paused for breath, and looked up at Ron's face. "Why are you grinning like a complete prat?"

Ron immediately shut his mouth. "I'm just really happy that we can have meetings again this year. I mean it mate, you really are a superb teacher. This year will be great…" And as Harry went off on another mini-speech about his lesson plans, Ron added to himself "…especially if Hermione will go out with me."

_Dear Hermione,_

_Everyone else is asleep, and I'm writing this letter my moonlight. Right now I'm sitting on the windowsill, thinking aboout you. The way you laugh so freely, the way you know everything, the way you smile and get excited when you learn something new… I know I'm not going to send you this letter because I'm a big coward, but if you ever read it by some fluke, I want you to know that it makes me happy to think about you. It tears me up inside whenever you are angry with me. Even if I ever find the courage to tell you how I feel, I don't think I could find the words to describe it. I just wanted to tell you (even though you'll never know) that I'm thinking about you. Like always._

_Love from,_

_Ron_

The next morning, Hermione Granger awoke with a start. Her dream had been so intense, so real… what was it? She struggled to remember, and as she closed her chocolate-colored eyes, it came to her—Ron. Her dream had been about her best friend, Ron Weasley. Except that this wasn't a friend-type dream. She'd never had a dream like this about her other best friend, Harry Potter. As Hermione opened her eyes and got out of her bed, she remembered some of the details.

She and Ron had been walking across Hogwarts grounds to the home of the gamekeeper, and their good friend, Hagrid. Ron had stopped suddenly and kissed her. As Hermione got dressed for breakfast, she realized that the fact that he had kissed her wasn't the most startling part of the dream. The most startling part was that she had kissed him back. 'It was just a dream,' the sensible brunette told herself, 'it doesn't mean anything.' But as she walked slowly down the steps from the girls dormitory to the Gryffindor Common Room, she couldn't help smiling at the lingering feeling of Ron's lips against her own.

Harry and Ron glanced up as Hermione joined them at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.

"What took you so long? We been in the Common Room for twenty minutes, waiting for you to come down… We couldn't very well go up to your dormitory, it turns into a bloody slide every time we try! How come you're here so late, you're always awake before us!" Ron ranted grumpily.

"I slept in. It's a weekend, we don't have classes, the two of you," she looked at the pair accusingly, "have done it plenty of times. Honestly, Ronald, you'd think it was a crime!"

"I didn't-" Ron started, but Harry, wanting to avoid an argument, cut him off.

"Listen, Hermione, Dumbledore told me last night that we're supposed to start up the D.A. again! He says that after what happened," Harry's voice caught in his throat, but he continued determinedly, "what happened at the end of last term, it's really important to be able to protect ourselves! So I'm going to need your help, Hermione, and," he turned to face Ron, "Yours too, Ron, to get the D.A. up and running again."

Hermione squealed. "Oh, this is just wonderful, Harry! I really enjoyed the meetings last year, you know, I learned loads!" She gave Harry a hug. Now, Harry was Ron's best friend, but Ron sometimes got a little jealous. Harry was rich, Harry was famous, and in Ron's opinion, Harry was much more handsome. (Ron was completely oblivious to the fact that he had quite a few girls fawning over him because he had become quite good looking over the past few years.) So when Ron saw Hermione giving Harry a hug, he looked down at his toast, suddenly not hungry- a first for him- and even grumpier than before.

_Dear Ron,_

_You're off playing Quidditch at the moment, and I'm pretending to do my Arithmancy homework while really thinking about you. I'm terribly sorry I snapped at you this morning, I really didn't mean to… Sometimes we fight about the silliest things, and I don't know why, and I always feel awful after. Last night, when we were by the fireplace, I really wanted to hold your hand. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave. I wish I had the bravery to grab your hand. Or to tell you how I feel about you. Or to just give you this letter. But I don't, so I guess you'll never know._

_Yours,_

_Hermione_

_P.S. I had a dream about you last night, it was quite nice._


	2. Catfights, Quidditch, and Complications

**Previous Chapter: Ron and Hermione keep putting off telling each other how they feel, and Harry gets permission to continue the D.A.**

**_(from Hermione to Ron): Last night, when we were by the fireplace, I really wanted to hold your hand. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave. I wish I had the bravery to grab your hand. Or to tell you how I feel about you. Or to just give you this letter. But I don't, so I guess you'll never know._ **

**Chapter Two: Catfights, Quidditch, and Complications**

When Harry and Ron arrived at the Quidditch pitch, there were already people there. Karina Figg, Cory Seline, and Thomas Menshaw, all of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, were flying around.

Karina, called Kari, called down to them, "Oy! Potter, Weasley! Care to join us?" She was a pretty brunette a year younger than the boys who they had always rather avoided because, although she was a Ravenclaw, she seemed rather inclined to the Dark Arts.

"Sure," Harry yelled up at her and flashed her a smile.

Ron's ears immediately went scarlet as he hissed at Harry, "But… she's… a girl!** And,**more importantly, she's- nearly a…" he sputtered "A Slytherin!"

Harry grinned, mounted his broom, and teased, "Nice observation. Did you also realize that she's a witch and is on a broomstick? Or were you just trying to get ten points to Gryffindor for stating the obvious?" He kicked up off the ground.

Ron quickly followed suit, his ears still red. Kari suggested that they have the three Ravenclaw chasers trying to get the Quaffle through Ron's goal. If they could get ten goals before Harry caught the Snitch, they would win. It was a rather lopsided and botched game of Quidditch, but an interesting one nonetheless. As it so happened, Harry's fingers closed over the struggling Snitch at the precise moment Cory scored the tenth goal.

The five players landed on the grass, laughing and chatting amiably. Harry noticed Kari whisper something in Ron's ear. Ron blushed, and Harry saw a flicker of sadness in Ron's eyes before he smiled and said, "Nope." Kari's lips turned up into a flirtatious smile and she said in a low voice, "Good to know."

The two groups separated- the Ravenclaws to their Common Room and Harry and Ron to the library to meet Hermione- but not before Kari squeezed Ron's hand and said in a low voice, "I'll see you soon. Count on it." She winked and strode away.

As Harry and Ron headed toward the library, Harry's curiosity got the better of him. "Back on the pitch, Kari whispered something in your ear… care to share?"

Ron's entire face went red. With his hair being such a violent shade of orange, he looked rather like he was on fire. "Oh… er… she… uh… well…" his voice dropped so much that Harry had to lean in to hear him say quickly, "If you must know, she asked if there was anything going on between me and Hermione," Harry realized that this was why Ron's eyes had flickered with sadness, "because… because she fancies me." He finished his sentence so quickly that Harry could barely make out the words.

Harry laughed out how flustered and embarrassed Ron looked. "So, what did you say? I know you don't think she's worth your time."

Ron looked almost ashamed at this. "Well, here's where Ron Weasley's brain stopped working… I think I told her I fancied her."

Harry was as shocked as if Ron had suddenly announced that he was Draco Malfoy in disguise. "But… but why?"

"Something else just… took over! But, maybe it's not such a bad thing…" His voice trailed off, and Harry thought he heard the words "make Hermione jealous…"

"Ron, if you want to go out with Hermione, just tell her. That way you don't have to waste your time with Kari, the Ravenclaw/Slytherin with enough malice to frighten Voldemort."

"Hermione would never stop laughing if I told her I fancied her." He seemed to catch himself almost instantly. "Not that I do! But, if I did, Kari would be the person that would infuriate Hermione the most."

Harry gave up. He had better things to do with his time than convince Ron not to date the girl whose idea of a rollicking good time was jinxing first years.

Ron seemed to be in a trance. "And, the is quite pretty. Maybe I do fancy her…" He wasn't himself. It was like something else had taken over.

"Mate, snap out of it! Ron… can you hear me?"

"Kari… wha?"

They had reached the library. Before opening the doors, Harry asked one last question. "So, are you going out with her?"

Ron looked bewildered. "I have no idea."

Harry was deeply amused. "Well, it's something you should probably know."

Their question was answered the very next day. As Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Ginny strolled along the corridor towards the Great Hall for breakfast, Kari ran up to Ron and slipped her hand in his. Ron seemed to flinch for a second, and then, like yesterday, he went into a sort of haze.

Hermione looked like she had swallowed Eye-Expanders. (One of Fred and George's- Ron's brothers, notorious mischief makers, and entrepreneurs extraordinaire- new inventions. '360 degree vision, know when enemies are behind you! Or, feed to a friend and watch the fun as their eyes expand to quadruple their normal size. Only nine Sickles!') She managed to blurt out something that sounded rather like, "Forgot… library… can't… never… thought… stupid… her.. umm… homework. Bye," before she hurried away. Harry thought he saw a tear stream down her face and was about to run after her when Ginny stopped him.

"I'll do it." She glared at Ron before rushing after Hermione. "Hermione… wait…" Her soothing voice somehow made Harry smile as it meshed with Hermione's hysterical one and then faded away. Kari smirked at Hermione's reaction and pulled Ron away.

"Oh, c'mon, Hermione, you know he'd much rather be with you. He just doesn't think you like him." Ginny was sitting with Hermione in a deserted classroom on the fourth floor.

"What are you…" she hiccuped. "…talking about? Ron doesn't like me… and I don't like him." She struggled to get the last words out. She hated lying to Ginny.

"Oh, Hermione." Ginny laughed, not unkindly. "You know you like him, I know you like him, let's not have any more of this 'I don't like him' rubbish. He likes you, you ought to know that by now, but he's too bloody scared to do anything about it."

Hermione was still trying to hold some dignity, but then she thought of Kari holding Ron's hand, and she started sobbing.

"What… What does she have that I don't?" Hermione's chest was heaving as she took uneven, rasping breaths.

"As of yet, nothing I can see. Except Ron. She has Ron, and you don't. But you could change that easily, Hermione. Just tell him how you feel."

Hermione thought about this for a moment, and then something occurred to her. "Ginny, I'll make a deal with you. If you tell Harry how you feel, I'll tell Ron how I feel."

Ginny forced a laugh. "Harry? I don't have feelings for HARRY. I got over my crush ages ago."

Hermione put on a mocking voice. "Ginny, you know you like him, I know you like him, so let's not have any of this, what was it? Mamby-pamby 'I don't like him' rubbish."

Ginny's laugh wasn't forced this time. "Oh, why not. Okay, it's a deal."

Over the next few days, things changed drastically. Hermione wouldn't hang around Ron when Kari was there, which was nearly always. When Ron wasn't with her, he seemed to forget why he liked her, but she had a sort of power over him when they were together. They quickly became the topic of gossip between fifth and sixth years.

"I heard that Kari's only dating Ron to distract him so Gryffindor will lose at Quidditch."

"I heard that they've been dating for four years but were hiding it."

"I heard that Kari's really thirty years old, and she's taking Polyjuice potion so that they don't get in trouble over the age difference."

"Is it true that Harry is their illegitimate love child?"

Ron and Kari ignored the rumors and enjoyed each other's company. They also seemed to enjoy the art of snogging, but at least tried to keep it to empty classrooms and corridors. They weren't like Seamus Finnagin and Parvati Patil, who treated the packed Gryffindor Common Room like a secluded hotel suite.

One night, about a week after that pivotal Quidditch match, they were sitting in the Room of Requirement, in front of a blazing fire, playing a game.

"Your turn." Ron was twirling a lock of Kari's hair, his mind foggy, able to focus only on how much he liked her.

"Umm…" She thought for a moment. "When I was seven, I broke my leg when I fell off my broomstick. It was summer, and my older sister was supposed to be watching me while my parents went into Diagon Alley to do some shopping. Well, she was still underage, she's five years older than I am, and so she couldn't fix it without getting in trouble, so I had to sit in our backyard with my leg all bloodied up until my mum got home and mended it. Your turn."

It was a "Here's something that you could never guess about me" sort of game.

"Hmm… I'm very allergic to the cherry stuff in the center of Honeyduke's Caramel Cherry Melts."

"My parent's thought I was a Squib- my great-aunt is one- until we realized I was a Rhifta."

"A- what?"

"It's really rare. It means that if I concentrate hard enough, I can control other people's emotions. I can make them feel happy or sad or angry or whatever else I want. I've never done it," she added hurridley. She was lying through her teeth. "except on accident when I was little. It's a really evil thing to do- control someone else." She seemed to smile a bit at these words.

Ron nodded thoughtfully, hand still running through Kari's hair, and then something clicked. His hand stopped moving.

"Hold it, your great-aunt isn't Arabella Figg, is it?"

"Yes, why?"

Ron laughed, remembering all Harry's stories about his batty old neighbor whose house smelled like cats. "Nothing. It's just a small world. My turn… in second year, I spent an entire evening burping up slugs. My wand backfired when I tried to curse that git Malfoy." Ron remembered that he had cursed Malfoy after Malfoy had called Hermione a Mudblood. Even then, Ron had felt something for her. "Ugh, it was awful."

"I already knew that." Kari immediately wished she could take the words back. The truth was, she had a crush on Ron in her first year and had been in the stands, planning on watching Ron watch Harry, when it had happened.

Ron looked at her quizzically. "How could you know?"

"I know a lot of things about you."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" He pulled Kari onto his lap.

"Well, you love the Chudley Cannons, you had a crush on Rosmerta, the barmaid at the Three Broomsticks, a while back, you like Hermione Granger…"

"What?" Ron cut in, startled.

"Yeah, I know you fancy her. I just thought that maybe you could fancy me as well… Even if you like her better." A single tear rolled down her cheek, but what Ron didn't realize was that it was just for show. Kari knew she could make Ron like who she wanted, when she wanted. Hermione Granger, who?

"Hey, hey…" Ron said, kindly, as he tilted her face up to his. "I'm with you, aren't I? Doesn't that show you who I like best?" Ron felt vaguely guilty saying, and he thought for a second that Hermione would always be number one. Then, however, his mind went blank, and he was sure his words were true. He stroked Kari's cheek. "What else do you know about me, huh?"

"Well…" She leaned closer to Ron's lips. "I know that you're adorable." She kissed him. "And funny." Again, more passionately this time. "And good at Quidditch." They were both gasping for air. "And… that… you…" But by this time, they were snogging so heavily that words were forgotten. Before surrendering to lust, teenage hormones, and something he couldn't describe, Ron vaguely registered that in his mind, it wasn't Kari he was kissing.

He wrote the letter right when he got back from the Room of Requirement. He could barely remember the password to Gryffindor Tower. He could only think about Kari, and how he needed closure in order to forget about Hermione.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I guess this is it. I've given up. I've carried a torch for you for over three years, and now I finally get that it's never going to happen between us. I can see our future- you, laughing happily with some bloody handsome husband and your gorgeous children, and me, feigning happiness with someone and thinking about how life would be if I had the courage to pursue a schoolboy crush. But it's more than I crush, isn't it? I… I think I'm was in love with you, but I just need to move on. Maybe someday I can be content with the woman I love who loves me back. Kari is a great person, and I've already fallen in love with her._

Even as he wrote the words, he felt himself snap out of something. He became fully present, aware.

_Maybe. I dunno. But I do know that I'm not going to spend any more time pining over you. Because although I see you as the smart, funny, clever, beautiful, brave woman you are, you see me as… Just Ron. Harry's sidekick. The boy who asks you for homework help. A friend. And you'll never see me as more. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to show you these letters and we can laugh about what a silly little boy I was, but for now- this silly little boy has given up. So… Goodbye. That word sounds so awkward and thick right now, but there it is. Goodbye._

_Always,_

_Ron_

Kari was heading out of Transfiguration when Hermione Granger stepped in front of her. Hermione had a falsely sweet and polite voice when she spoke, "Karina, may I speak to you for a moment?"

Kari glanced at her friends and said to them, "Go on. I'll catch you up."

She turned back to Hermione who had an uncharacteristically cheeky look in her eyes. Kari raised her eyebrows and said, "So?"

Hermione's voice once again feigned politeness. "Well, I just thought we should talk."

Kari started to question, "What about?" but Hermione cut her off.

"Actually, I changed my mind. I think**I** should talk. Apparently you didn't get the chit, but Ron Weasley is off-limits. If you don't want to suffer great personal injury, you'll stay away from him."

Kari's temper had been flaring since the start of Hermione's little monologue. And impressive knack for words and a bad habit of getting over-emotional made Karina Figg someone you did b not /b want to cross. But Hermione didn't know that, so Kari took a deep breath and prepared to put Hermione in her place.

"Okay, first off, I asked Ron if there was anything between the two of you, and he said no, which means that whatever pathetic little relationship you're talking about is obviously one-sided. Not surprising, considering you're a filthy little Mudblood, competing with a pureblood like me. And, number two, apparently you didn't," she used air-quotes and a sarcastic tone, " 'Get the chit', so news flash: you don't frighten me. You think you're dangerous because you know more than most in your year. Well, bully for you, you read the Standard Book of Spells, Grade Six. But while you were busy studying and continuing on the path to becoming the world's biggest prat, I was busy having a life. You aren't dangerous. You aren't in Ravenclaw, so you probably aren't even that clever. You're just a pathetic, stuck up little bookworm in **desperate** need of some hair potion.

Hermione looked like she was about to cry. Kari hoped to put her over the edge. She wanted to see the girl break down.

"Ron even said that he couldn't stand you. He said you were ugly. He said you were annoying and cowardly." The lies just kept on coming.

Hermione looked into Kari's eyes with pure loathing. Her voice was low and very deliberate. "You… are going to be so sorry… you**ever**… got… in…my…way."

Kari smirked. "Actually, Hermione," she gestured at the Transfiguration classroom doorway they were still standing in, "I'm pretty sure you were the one that got in my way. Yeah, I was just leaving." She pushed Hermione aside and started down the corridor.

Hermione called after her, "Ten points from Ravenclaw."

Kari turned around with an almost pitying expression on her face. "Take as many points as you want. The only**point** I care about is that I'm with Ron, and you're, oh, what's the word I'm looking for… not."

Hermione was shaking her head, thinking about how horrible this girl was and wondering what Ron could possibly see in her when Kari reached into her robes. Hermione had a fleeting thought that Kari was going to jinx her, but she realized it was only a coin.

Kari flicked the silver at Hermione. "Here's a Sickle. See if you can buy yourself a clue."

And, without a backwards glance, she walked away, leaving Hermione alone to figure out what the bloody hell had just happened.

_Ron,_

_This page is already splattered with my tears. Maybe I am over-emotional. Maybe I am just a silly little girl. Maybe I am- what was it? - A stuck-up bookworm in need of some hair potion. One thing I know for sure- I'm out. I can't keep fighting for a relationship that you don't even want. In ten years, you'll probably be married to Kari, happily reminiscing about your school days, and you won't think of me as anything more than a friend. Or, according to that horrible girlfriend of yours, you won't even think of me as that. You'll never know how I truly feel because this letter- like my feelings- is going to stay hidden. Buried. Maybe one day packed away, but never truly gone._

_Hermione_

Next Chapter: Tomensecor, Tension, and Tantalizing Truths.


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